Save Your Christian Marriage : How To Fix Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

SAVE YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE : HOW TO FIX YOUR MARRIAGE WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT IT.
"An apology can transform your marriage from one where problems linger and create tension to one where problems re small bumps in the road. Apologies give you the chance to prove your love for each other".

My Dear Lord, 
I come to you with an open heart today. Forgive me in all areas I have sinned in my marriage, knowingly and unknowingly. I pray that you give me the grace to love myself the more, and love my husband to the fullest without distraction. I pray for my husband as the head of the family. I pray that my husband and I share more in our goals as soul mates.

 I commit my marriage to you as I know you are in partnership with us in this.I also pray that our love in this marriage will glow forever and we will share all that you bless us with together and not as "my own" syndrome. 

I also pray Lord that we will live with the tenets of Christ and bring our children up to be great and they will serve and honor you. above all, they will live life as honorable children of God in Jesus name. Amen.

Honor Your Marriage: Honor your marriage and say sorry if the need arouses. Be quick to apologize. True, apologizing may be difficult if you are not fully to be blamed. But your spouse'es faults do not excuse bad behavior on your part. So do not hesitate to apologize, thinking that the passing of time will cover over the offense. Your apologizing can make it easier for your spouse to apologize too. And the more you practice apologizing, the easier it will become for you.
The objective of apology is to restore peace and happiness. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. If your spouse is hurt over something, do all you can to make him or her feel better.
Bible principle: Matthew 5:25.
HOW TO SAVE YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.

How To Murder Your Marriage.

HOW TO MURDER YOUR MARRIAGE.

1. Expect Perfection 

Forget John’s comment that those who claim to be without sin are liars (1 John 1:8). Instead, fix your mind on the faultless spouse of your imagination while diligently marking your partner’s every transgression. Ruminate on their failures. Let each incident be part of the grand narrative of your spouse’s incompetence. Forget Paul’s counsel—let the rivers of bitterness rage (Eph. 4:31–32). Console yourself by remembering you’re the victim. 

Dwell on perfection: physical perfection, emotional perfection, spiritual perfection—think on all of it—and be deeply offended at your spouse’s shortcomings. When hope begins to raise its head, shame it with memories of how your spouse has failed in the same way multiple times. Downplay any incremental progress. The truth is they will always hurt you and you can never trust them.

On those occasions when they meet your expectations, do not under any circumstances celebrate with them. Instead, seem vaguely annoyed that they finally lived up to their call. What’s more, assume the only reason they’re doing it is to get something from you—money, children, sex. You know there must be ulterior motives somewhere; hunt them down. Whatever you do, don’t look to Calvary amid your discontent. Because if you do, you may notice that the only perfect person hung on a cross for you. 

2. Emote, Don’t Communicate

The roll-eyes emoji has nothing on you. Listening is for suckers, and speaking softly is for the weak. Don’t let Paul’s exhortation to speak only what edifies get in the way of a perfect sigh of frustration or lipcurl of disgust. Your emotions are the arbiter of truth, and they should be given full voice at all times. Though the tongue can set fires hot enough to rival hell, don’t restrain it. Give it free reign because that’s just you being authentic. Communication that is full of grace (Col 4:6), love (1 Pet. 3:10) and truth (Eph. 4:15)? These commands were obviously written for the super-spiritual, or at least for someone whose spouse is more capable than yours is. Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (Jas. 1:19) requires time and energy that frankly you don’t have and they don’t deserve. It’s easier, quicker, and more satisfying to yell, stomp, pout, or freak out. And while you may not have time to listen to your spouse, they should always stop and pay attention to you right away. 

3. Keep Your Options Open

You never know when something better is going to come along. True, you made vows in front of witnesses and the Lord, but everyone knows such commitments are naïve at best. After all, if you’d known all of your spouse’s failings, would you have made such a promise? Definitely not. Would God have made such promises to his people if he had known they were going to be lazy, gluttonous, murderous, treacherous idolaters (Rom. 5:6–11)? You certainly can’t be expected to do the same. Can you (Eph. 5:1–2)?   There are a lot of fish in the sea, and one of them may be the key to your real long-term satisfaction. Indeed, you probably felt that way about your current spouse at some point, but you’ve learned so much since then. If you could do it all over you would make sure to get someone more attractive or more communicative or more artistic or more athletic or more organized or more . . . whatever. It doesn’t matter. But you’d definitely do better. So whether you’re at the gym or the grocery store, at work or even worship, be on the prowl for an upgrade.

4. Look Out for Number One

Nothing is more important than your momentary individual happiness. And by nothing, I mean not even God himself. Refuse to imagine a God who would want you to be unhappy, even if it leads to loving Jesus and being more like him (Rom. 5:3–5). Your marriage, as with all things in life, has one ultimate purpose: to serve you. Regardless of Christ calling you to serve (Mark 10:43–45) or to count others more significant than yourself (Phil. 2:3), demand that your needs be put first.  Remind yourself that your value comes from your spouse’s ability to hold your desires in the highest esteem, not from the fact that Jesus chose to become as nothing that you might be redeemed (Phil 2:6–8). Only in the context of being constantly, effectively, efficiently, and immediately served should your spouse ever expect anything in return. And then only when it’s convenient for you. 

5. Don’t Seek Help

Who needs an abundance of counselors (Prov. 15:22)? You’ve got this! It’s not like we’re talking about solving world hunger or finding the cure for cancer. We’re just talking about one of the foundational structures God uses to display his covenantal goodness to all mankind (Gen. 2:18–24). Your vows—“in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer”—were meant to reflect to the world, in a tangible way, God’s covenant promise to “never leave nor forsake” his people. Easy peasy, no help necessary.  Plus, getting others involved would take work. It would mean giving up the appearance of having it all together and the illusion of control. Counselors, pastors, and mentors may speak hard truths into your life (Eph. 4:15). They may even hold you accountable for living up to your call as a spouse, regardless of how your spouse is acting (Rom. 12:9). You shouldn’t seek advice from older couples with happy and healthy marriages, because they were just plain lucky. Besides, no amount of real-world advice could stand up to the repository of dating and marital blogs you’ve skimmed over the years. All of which point to one inescapable conclusion: You’re miserable, and it’s all your spouse’s fault. How can anyone help that?

That’s it. With little effort and a whole lot of pride, you too can destroy your marriage. And any time you do, you destroy a powerful image of Christ’s covenant love for his people. Sadly, the world will be happy to let you get away with this murder.