Marriage Tips.

                        MARRIAGE TIPS.
 After dating for nearly three years and knowing we were on the path to marriage, I asked my boyfriend directly when he imagined us becoming engaged. We had a couple of discussions where I laid out my expectations and he his before reaching an approximate window of when we both thought we’d be ready. I later told a friend about these discussions, and she responded, “I would never bring that up! You should just wait for him to propose when he’s ready.”

What? No, thank you. This huge next step was 50 percent about me, and I had the right to know where my (and our) life was headed. From that exchange, I’ve determined six things you shouldn't do if you're ready for marriage.
 You shouldn't...

1. ...avoid the conversation
In a relationship, the choice to date each other is mutual. The act of marriage is a team endeavor. Marriage counselors, therapists and ministers suggest discussing every possible expectation for life as a married couple before marriage. So doesn’t it make sense that engagement—and the discussion of a future—should also be joint process?  I’m not saying you and your partner should mutually propose to each other or plan out the exact date, time and location you’re going to become engaged (a little mystery and excitement can make the moment even more special), but engagement should not be taboo subject.

Through an honest discussion, you’ll find out if you’re on the same page. Is marriage important to both of you? Will it add something to the relationship or are you both content continuing to be together as you are? Are you still in love with each other or merely comfortable? Do you want to be married (as in, you’d elope if you had to) or just plan a fun wedding? With America's divorce rate as high as it is, marriage should never be entered into with a shrug or blind faith. Discussing engagement opens up the window to many important questions about your future together, and may even reveal that you don’t have a future together at all.
 3.try to be the “cool girlfriend”
In an effort to prove they are not “that girl”—the demanding girlfriend who requests a proposal on her timeline—too many women don’t say a word about wanting to be engaged, bottling up their confusion, anticipation and frustration. If you are expecting or desiring a proposal, closing your eyes and hoping it will happen won’t get you anywhere.

Pretending you don’t care is a dead end, too. There are plenty of women who truly don’t feel the need to get married and are totally fine with long-term dating. If that is you, great! But if it’s not, no amount of forcing will change how you feel. There is nothing wrong about wanting to commit to a lifetime with someone, so for heaven’s sake, don’t feel guilty. Listen to yourself and acknowledge your needs.

3. ...drop hints
I get why women (myself included) drop hints—it’s so easy! You can put feelers out there, gauge a reaction and if you come under suspicion for your hinting ways, there’s no damning evidence because you didn’t actually say anything. So sneaky.

But while it’s easier to hint, this approach very rarely accomplishes anything. Women shouldn’t need to resort to petty games in place of having a grown-up discussion. When you’re unhappy about something down the road, are you going to drop hints to your husband in hopes that he picks up on them? Your partner can’t read your mind—say something. Any person who is serious about a future won’t freak out at the mere mention of marriage. If he or she is not respectful of and responsive to your efforts to have an honest discussion, maybe you have your answer right there.


4. ...make the discussion about a ring
Avoid bringing up engagement in the context of a ring. If a diamond (or sapphire or emerald) ring is important to you, that’s fine. Say it once and then back off. The more you bring up the rock, the less the issue is about the actual engagement and marriage. Also, rings aren’t cheap. Just as you cannot make money appear out of thin air, neither can they.

If you’re secretly expecting your significant other to plan out an elaborate proposal, consider that this might take a bit of time, too. Proposing is already a big deal; planning a special one takes it up another notch.

In either case, you’re absolutely required to be more patient. If waiting bugs you that much, it’s time to adjust your expectations.


5. ...talk about how everyone else is doing it
Similar to #4, you should avoid making your engagement about anything other than the two of you. It is insanely hard not to compare yourself to others, especially in the age of invasive social media. First you see your friends traveling the world, then in a happy relationship, then engaged, then married. Then they buy a house and have a child, and it all looks so fun and perfect. You feel like you're falling behind, and it's rough. Ugh.

The simple truth is, though, that there is no right time to get married. Just because your friends are getting married at 27 doesn't mean you should be getting married at 27. Using this as an argument for getting engaged comes off like you're trying to win a competition, not grow your relationship.

Reflect on whether you not only truly want this, but are also ready for this. You can be in love with your significant other and still need some time. Take a deep breath, block out the noise and focus on the two of you.

6. ...beat a dead horse
There should be an element of trust and respect that your partner hears you. I will admit that I didn’t do very well in this area when I was ready for engagement. I brought up the topic one too many times after our initial discussions. Letting my curiosity/anxiety manifest into a game of 20 questions only made my boyfriend, and me, feel worse. Feeling a lack of control is frustrating, but having a discussion (see #1) is your form of control. Say what you feel directly, clearly and honestly. State your intentions and expectations. Listen to theirs, as well. And then let it go.
ALWAYS PUT YOUR SITUATIONS IN GOD CARES.
Pray With Prayer Points.

How To Apologize And Extinguish The flames Of Conflict In Your Home.

HOW TO APOLOGIZE AND EXTINGUISH THE FLAMES OF CONFLICT IN YOUR  HOME.

 You and your spouse have just had an argument. I do not need to apologize, you tell yourself. I am not the one who started it. You drop the issue, but the tension lingers. You reconsider apologizing, but you cannot bring yourself to say those simple words, "I'm sorry".
Keep your pride and save your family. sometimes it is hard to say I am sorry because my ego gets in the way" admits a husband named Peter. Inordinate pride can make you too embarrassed to acknowledge  your share of the blame.

You may think that an apology is in order only if you are responsible for the problem. A wife named Mary says, "When I know I am hundred percent at fault, it is easy to say I am sorry. But when we both said things we regret, it is difficult. I mean , why should I apologize if both of us messed up?
You might feel even more justified if you feel that what happened was entirely your spouse's fault. "When you genuinely believe that you haven't done anything wrong says a husband called Samuel,"Withholding an apology becomes a way of declaring  your innocence".
To keep your home happy, try to practice the following:

1. True, apologizing may be difficult if you are not fully to blame. But your spouse faults do not excuse bad behavior on your part. so do not hesitate to apologize, thinking that the passing of time will cover over the offense. Your apologizing can make it easier for your spouse to apologize too. and the more you practice apologizing, the easier it will become for you.

2. Remember your marriage. View an apology, not as a defeat for you, but as a victory for your marriage. After all, a person who remains offended is " more unyielding than a fortified city, "says Proverbs 18:19. It is difficult, if not impossible, to restore peace in such a defensive atmosphere. On the other hand , when you apologize you prevent the offense from becoming a barrier. In essence, you put your marriage ahead of yourself.

                                                 MARRIAGE QUOTE.
"An apology can transform your marriage from one where problems linger and create tension to one where problems are small bumps in the road. Apologies give you the chance to prove your love for each other".
Happy Married Life.

10 Relationship Secrets You Must Know.

10 RELATIONSHIP SECRETS YOU MUST KNOW.

A healthy relationship exist when two people develop a connection based on trust, honest, mutual respect and a sense of playfulness. 
1.When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right and forget what your friends, parents or other people think is right and ask yourself: Does the relationship feels right for me?

2.Be sensitive to what your partners like. Only go for spiritual counselling if both of you have a  similar convictions of faults and have a good relationship with your counselor.

3.Do not based your relationships exclusively  on sex. A meaningful and fulfilling relationship depends on more than just good sex.

4.Let romantic relationship be your watchword. Commit to spending quality time together as a partner on a regular basis.

5.Have a relationship with yourself first.If you lack self worth, dignity and value for yourself, you can never be loved.

6.Note this carefully. If your love does such thing as: promises to call you but does not make dates and breaks them, show up late or plays games with your emotions, be watchful, something may be amiss. Make corrections.

7.A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy relationships. Men have their worth and importance and want women to know and recognize this.

8.Whatever problems arises in a relationship, it is important to face them together as a couple.
9.If an aspect of the relationship stops working, do not simply ignore it but address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they come.

10.Create time out of your schedule to pray together.
http://www.sfi4.com/16282581