Marriage Talk.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Marriage Talk.: Marriage Talk.: How To Murder Your Marriage.

Marriage Talk.: Marriage Talk.: How To Murder Your Marriage.: Marriage Talk.: How To Murder Your Marriage. : HOW TO MURDER YOUR MARRIAGE. 1. Expect Perfection Forget John’s comment that those who c...

Marriage Talk.: How To Murder Your Marriage.

Marriage Talk.: How To Murder Your Marriage.: HOW TO MURDER YOUR MARRIAGE. 1. Expect Perfection Forget John’s comment that those who claim to be without sin are liars (1 John 1:8)....

How To Murder Your Marriage.

HOW TO MURDER YOUR MARRIAGE.

1. Expect Perfection

Forget John’s comment that those who claim to be without sin are liars (1 John 1:8). Instead, fix your mind on the faultless spouse of your imagination while diligently marking your partner’s every transgression. Ruminate on their failures. Let each incident be part of the grand narrative of your spouse’s incompetence. Forget Paul’s counsel—let the rivers of bitterness rage (Eph. 4:31–32). Console yourself by remembering you’re the victim.

Dwell on perfection: physical perfection, emotional perfection, spiritual perfection—think on all of it—and be deeply offended at your spouse’s shortcomings. When hope begins to raise its head, shame it with memories of how your spouse has failed in the same way multiple times. Downplay any incremental progress. The truth is they will always hurt you and you can never trust them.

On those occasions when they meet your expectations, do not under any circumstances celebrate with them. Instead, seem vaguely annoyed that they finally lived up to their call. What’s more, assume the only reason they’re doing it is to get something from you—money, children, sex. You know there must be ulterior motives somewhere; hunt them down. Whatever you do, don’t look to Calvary amid your discontent. Because if you do, you may notice that the only perfect person hung on a cross for you.

2. Emote, Don’t Communicate

The roll-eyes emoji has nothing on you. Listening is for suckers, and speaking softly is for the weak. Don’t let Paul’s exhortation to speak only what edifies get in the way of a perfect sigh of frustration or lipcurl of disgust. Your emotions are the arbiter of truth, and they should be given full voice at all times. Though the tongue can set fires hot enough to rival hell, don’t restrain it. Give it free reign because that’s just you being authentic. Communication that is full of grace (Col 4:6), love (1 Pet. 3:10) and truth (Eph. 4:15)? These commands were obviously written for the super-spiritual, or at least for someone whose spouse is more capable than yours is. Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (Jas. 1:19) requires time and energy that frankly you don’t have and they don’t deserve. It’s easier, quicker, and more satisfying to yell, stomp, pout, or freak out. And while you may not have time to listen to your spouse, they should always stop and pay attention to you right away.

3. Keep Your Options Open

You never know when something better is going to come along. True, you made vows in front of witnesses and the Lord, but everyone knows such commitments are naïve at best. After all, if you’d known all of your spouse’s failings, would you have made such a promise? Definitely not. Would God have made such promises to his people if he had known they were going to be lazy, gluttonous, murderous, treacherous idolaters (Rom. 5:6–11)? You certainly can’t be expected to do the same. Can you (Eph. 5:1–2)? There are a lot of fish in the sea, and one of them may be the key to your real long-term satisfaction. Indeed, you probably felt that way about your current spouse at some point, but you’ve learned so much since then. If you could do it all over you would make sure to get someone more attractive or more communicative or more artistic or more athletic or more organized or more . . . whatever. It doesn’t matter. But you’d definitely do better. So whether you’re at the gym or the grocery store, at work or even worship, be on the prowl for an upgrade.

4. Look Out for Number One

Nothing is more important than your momentary individual happiness. And by nothing, I mean not even God himself. Refuse to imagine a God who would want you to be unhappy, even if it leads to loving Jesus and being more like him (Rom. 5:3–5). Your marriage, as with all things in life, has one ultimate purpose: to serve you. Regardless of Christ calling you to serve (Mark 10:43–45) or to count others more significant than yourself (Phil. 2:3), demand that your needs be put first. Remind yourself that your value comes from your spouse’s ability to hold your desires in the highest esteem, not from the fact that Jesus chose to become as nothing that you might be redeemed (Phil 2:6–8). Only in the context of being constantly, effectively, efficiently, and immediately served should your spouse ever expect anything in return. And then only when it’s convenient for you.

5. Don’t Seek Help

Who needs an abundance of counselors (Prov. 15:22)? You’ve got this! It’s not like we’re talking about solving world hunger or finding the cure for cancer. We’re just talking about one of the foundational structures God uses to display his covenantal goodness to all mankind (Gen. 2:18–24). Your vows—“in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer”—were meant to reflect to the world, in a tangible way, God’s covenant promise to “never leave nor forsake” his people. Easy peasy, no help necessary. Plus, getting others involved would take work. It would mean giving up the appearance of having it all together and the illusion of control. Counselors, pastors, and mentors may speak hard truths into your life (Eph. 4:15). They may even hold you accountable for living up to your call as a spouse, regardless of how your spouse is acting (Rom. 12:9). You shouldn’t seek advice from older couples with happy and healthy marriages, because they were just plain lucky. Besides, no amount of real-world advice could stand up to the repository of dating and marital blogs you’ve skimmed over the years. All of which point to one inescapable conclusion: You’re miserable, and it’s all your spouse’s fault. How can anyone help that?

That’s it. With little effort and a whole lot of pride, you too can destroy your marriage. And any time you do, you destroy a powerful image of Christ’s covenant love for his people. Sadly, the world will be happy to let you get away with this murder.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

5 Things Men Should Do After Sex.

5 THINGS MEN SHOULD DO AFTER SEX.

Men love to have sex, but many men don’t know that after that earth-shaking orgasm that usually knocks them out, there are some areas of their health to take care of.

Doing one of these five things will enable any healthy man to perform better every time they want to have sex!

So, as a man, what are you expected to do after having sex? The following…

Eat banana. Cramps are some of the side effects of sex. So, eat a banana and drink water to prevent muscle spasms or cramps during and after sex. Again, nutritionists say bananas contain the enzyme bromelain, which some studies have found boosts a man’s libido. They are also rich in B vitamins, such as riboflavin, which are essential for the manufacturing of sex hormone, testosterone.

Wash your penis. Many men are careless when it comes to maintaining penis hygiene! Yet, sex experts counsel men to wash the penis with soap and water after sex, and especially for the uncircumcised male. Failure to do so can lead to infections and other diseases, physicians say. Poor penis hygiene can cause infections, inflammations, phimosis (congenital narrowing of the opening of the foreskin so that it cannot be retracted) and even tumours, they warn.

Drink water. Water is needed to flush out the toxins from the body. Drink sufficient water to maintain a good amount of blood and oxygen supply to the penis.

Take a nap. Well, most men would do this anyway! This is because vasopressin, a hormone, tightens the blood vessels and plays an important role in homeostasis of the body. This hormone is directly released in the brain and tends to relax the body.

Eat chia seeds. These seeds are a powerhouse of energy, along with other nutrients. Consuming chia seeds are the best way to boost energy and rebuild stamina, nutritionists say. And if you can find chia seeds in your locality, eat sesame seeds or pumpkin seeds.
HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.